When They Were Rubbish

So the other day whilst getting increasingly frustrated about Spanish grammar, and my inability to understand the rules competently - I’ve got problems with understanding when to apply the perfect subjunctive as opposed to the subjunctive. I thought about how this was never a problem for Jose Pablo, but then concluded that he’s Spanish so why would he ever have had a problem, well maybe when he was seven and couldn’t pronounce ‘¿estas bien?’ So increasingly feeling crap about myself I made a ginger tea and let my mind go a bit wild. By this I mean, I began thinking about well known people and the problems they might of faced.

First off, Pablo Picasso must have been rubbish at painting once. Maybe when he was about twelve and drew something at school and the teacher just snorted in disgust at what was later to be known as cubism. As a result he went home and smashed up all his brushes and cried. Only to realise a few days later that he wanted to continue painting and wanted to create something that would show everyone that he what he produces is extraordinary pieces of art.

Or maybe when Roald Dahl thought he’d finally nailed a short story he had been writing for homework, only for the teacher to castigate him for not knowing where to apply the past-participle. This left Roald spending hours upon hours trying to memorise what this grammatical rule is and where to apply it. Instead of it just clicking he was left feeling annoyed and frustrated. So much so that he perhaps thought that writing wasn’t for him and it was better to instead try and focus his brain on something else, like fly fishing.

Perhaps Lionel Messi thought he’d never be a footballer when he tried to take the ball around bigger and stronger defender only to find himself flattened by a challenge more frequently seen at an NFL game. For a while he probably thought he’d never be able to get past players who were physically taller and stronger than him, and so he considered quitting and turning his attentions to something else. That was until he worked on his skill base and soon realised that he had the ability to ghost past defenders as if they weren’t there and when roughly tackled, was able to grow in strength to sustain those types of challenges.

Hmm, I guess I have used this entry to make realise that pretty much everyone, even those that became brilliant, have had set backs (well in my mind, I think they did), so I’m going to give myself a rest from trying to memorise stuff which at the moment is just not registering, and come back later when I’m not so annoyed at myself. I guess, sometimes I want to understand and remember something quickly when, to be honest, it actually takes me a while to fully take it in.

In other news, I met up with an ol’ pal named Ricky Rickatson (aka Jack Thursby and occasional visitor to this blog)a few weeks ago. It was good to catch up and also to see he still maintains his active enthusiasm for imported American confectionary, ‘fancy a sour Skittle?’

Disclaimer: All examples above are just a figment of my imagination and did not occur, and if they did, well, that’s just coincidence. Honest!

Prospects

These last few days have been ones I love. It’s the transitional period where winter finally diminishes and spring begins to sprout. Saturday and especially today were glorious outside from the moment I woke up and stared out of the window. Yet, upon stepping outside to buy some milk I realised that I’d better go back in and get my hat and gloves because it was still effing freezing.

When the sun starts to rise earlier in the morning and there’s a bright glaze at 07:40 it makes me think about what’s around the corner in the following months because winter is finally ebbing away. It feels good coming home now and it’s not pitch black. Now it’s only just past dusky but every day it’s getting darker later and later.

When these bright but brisk days occur I see it as a sign that sunnier warmer days will be here soon (ok, so will grey clouds and rain) and it feels me with optimism about everything that’s going to happen in 2010. My steps along the path to the shop quicken, as I think that something good will happen to me this year. Not that I deserve it but I just feel like these next seven months will be sunny days where everyone will be having barbeques, people will be out mingling in the sun complaining just how hot it is, the nation will be on this fantastic vibe as it’s a world cup year, and somewhere amongst all that I’ll be really happy about something. I don’t if it will be because of an accomplishment or because of luck, but these are the sort of thoughts that run through my head at 07:45 on a Sunday morning when it’s all quiet outside and it’s just me alone kicking a stone along the redway and thinking things through.

I’m fully aware with myself that I get these feelings each year, and as yet, I don’t think that I’ve had an ultra lucky streak which would make even a leprechaun jealous or that anything I’d done was actually worth talking about. What I kind of like more is not the hope of any of these things happening but the feeling of knowing they might, and I’m happy with that for the time being because these things are out of my control and plus it’s always good to ponder favourably on the future, otherwise you just end up being a grump.

So, when I finally came down from my high of breathing in the fresh morning air, and admiring the horizon lit up by the sun, I got to the shops and realised I’d forgotten my wallet!

Networking

There are many things that I am not good at, but networking is something I do not really like and am rubbish at doing. The garbling and exchanging of information and pleasantries are all achievable. It’s the way the majority of people turn all false that I don’t like. Also when someone yanks out a business card and shoves it in front of my face. I’m not too keen on that either.

This is only because I can’t handle the masquerading of it all. Sometimes when people approach me I think, ‘what are you after?’ And I feel bad for feeling this because I do like to help people but at the same time some people don’t deserve help and so I then try and work out how much information I want to give them.

Then there are times I’m boxed into a corner as someone strikes up a somewhat friendly conversation and the next thing they are trying to illicit what kind of synchronous technology I use and if it was applied what training elements were involved. I do not mind giving this information because, quite frankly I believe it should be passed on so that someone somewhere can do something really interesting with it, what I don’ t like is this tactic of acting to be my friend but at the same time just wanting something of me. I don’t mind that being asked about stuff it’s just that approach which really annoys me.

Sometimes when I realise it is happening I decide to give out some incomplete information just so I feel better because I’m sure they walk away thinking, ‘what a fool, he doesn’t realise I don’t care about him, and now I’ve got what I want...’ That way, they can think like that and I can smirk to myself knowing they haven’t got the complete picture.

What is rather funny is when I am looking for information. Say at an event or conference, I spend at least half an hour watching people walking around interacting, whilst I wrestle with myself about who to decide to approach first. When I finally decide to strike up a conversation, it always begins with me thinking, ‘I feel a right idiot for doing this.’ But I always begin and maintain the topic of what I want as the main discussion, none of this flattery, like ‘you must be really proud of yourself,’ or even stuff about my appearance, ‘your hair looks really good’. My hair doesn’t look good because it takes 0.3 seconds for me to style it in the mornings and I don’t wake up and spend all day beaming with pride.

Fortunately, there are some really nice people out there that wish to exchange information and do so without being smarmy or cunning. What’s even better is that sometimes you start to discover the person they are and you end up thinking that you would really like to work on a project with them. I guess the nature of networking is not to make friends but it also shouldn’t involve bad acting.

In other news, you may recall my post about my iPod being broken. Well, I can honestly say I can now stand tall amongst the likes of Maurice Moss, Screech Powers, Professor Frink and of course him . I took the whole thing apart (whilst making sure I was earthed), removed the hard drive, the battery and unscrewed the ear phone jack and replaced it. And it still worked after!

Quake

Something I need to bring up, even though I’m sure someone has mentioned it somewhere (I hope). Last Saturday’s earthquake in Chile was another reminder of how powerful nature can be. Measuring 8.8 on the Richter scale making it one of the most powerful earth quakes in the last 30 years.

Ok, so I’m slight worried as it could have easily been Peru than Chile seeing that they are both next to each other. But what has struck me is that two massive earthquakes have occurred in the last two months causing huge devastation. Haiti is in complete ruin and Chile is still discovering the extent of the damage that has been done. At present it seems quite a few people are looting shops whether it be for survival purposes or opportunist inclinations, the country is trying to bring itself back to normal.

But the fact there’s been two quakes so close to each other in time needs to be looked at. Are things changing in the world? Or more importantly will there be another one within the next 60 days which could rip cause equal devastation like it did to Haiti.

It’s lucky that there’s nothing like this in the UK. Ok, we get some pretty ropey weather where it’s sunny in winter and rainy in summer but in general it’s mild compared to most climates. Although, it should be pointed out that apparently England was hit by a Tsuanmi in 1607 we fortunately have not experienced anything like that of recent years. Imagine an earthquake hitting London, Birmingham or Manchester – it’s a struggle coping with a heatwave in those places when it happens.

I really hope that seismologists (which I’m sure they have) are starting to look at the patterns between the two. Like, were there similarities in the currents of the sea before they occurred, or when was the last time two earthquakes happened within a space of 60 days, and was there a third shortly afterwards? These are the things that seem to be bouncing around in my mind of late and I just wanted to get it out on the internet so that I can move on and think about other things.

Recording to remember

The other week I was thinking that I often forget stuff. Some things are quite trivial like not remembering to watch a television program (I haven’t got sky+ unfortunately). And others are a bit more serious, like forgetting to meet someone I’d planned to at 6, only to realise after watching an episode of the Simpsons and then dashing out.

This also stretches to learning. When having my Spanish lessons my teacher would reel off some rules of when to use the preterite version of a verb instead of the imperfect. At the time the justification all make sense and I am even able to give her examples of when to use the imperfect and when to use the preterite. Yet, within a space of a month when talking about the past in Spanish I found myself thinking, ‘what version should I use?’ and then spending a few moments to remember which the appropriate version is. I wish I could just remember off by heart.

So as a result I began to write everything down. I bought a diary to make sure I didn’t forget to watch things and a note book to write things in. It started off well but soon I would forget to write and instead go back to cluttering up my mind with crap like ‘must remember that Predator is on channel 4 on Sunday’. Although I scribbled down key rules in a notebook during my Spanish lessons it was always incoherent and just randomly sat on a page. So in the end I just got really annoyed and admitted loads of things slip my mind.

That was until I thought about something my ol’ pal Ricky Rickatson wrote on his blog. In fact it was his last entry. He had got himself a Dictaphone to record ideas on. I often thought if he literally said, ‘note to self...’ like Alan Partridge does whilst driving his Rover. So I decided I’d get myself one. Not to say, ‘note to self, remember to watch Slumdog next week’, but to record certain things like my lessons. That way I could listen to it on the way to work or when chilling out. Ok, listening to my voice would be something I’d cringe at but I’d get over it.

I have to say capturing things in the moment and then having time to reflect and think about them is really good, providing you have the time. For example, you record something that contains important info such as some Spanish grammar rules. You then try and remember them but if things seem a bit hazy you turn on the Phillips mp3 personal recorder, locate the recording and play it back. I find myself rewinding and fast-forwarding until my brain has finally absorbed it. The only drawback is that it does take up time listening to a recording when you could be doing something else, perhaps more constructively.

Ok, so I haven’t solved how to remember to watch television programmes, particularly 80’s movies such as Predator, where Schwarzenegger would say such classic lines as, ‘If it bleeds, we can kill it’, but I can just about cope with that.

Pod in a coma

I’m pretty annoyed that my ipod is perishing before my eyes, well ears. My 5th generation video edition, the one where if you watch a video the battery drains in a couple of hours, is falling apart.

The problem is that sound does not come out of the left earphone. Originally I thought it was the earphones that had broken. I seem to break a set every few months or so, due mainly to tugging at them quite hard from my pocket when trying to get them out; only to find a big ball of tangled wires. Unfortunately, after buying a new pair of Sony headphones there was still no sound coming through the ear piece. I tired the earphones on my netbook and they worked fine. So I was stuck and annoyed because I only get to listen to things in a half-assed manner.
After some Googling I discovered that I have damaged the ear jack which seems simple enough to deal with. I’ll just buy a new one. That bit isn’t hard, the complex part is taking out the old one and installing a new one. Check out this video on how to do it.

Ok, I know you didn’t, so I’ll summarise. You need to know your stuff. I don’t. My options are to follow the instructions but unwittingly screw up my pod or get a new one. A new one would put my estate into disrepute, plus I don’t like just ditching things that aren’t fully broken. Yeah, the ipod touch would be nice and I could download apps ‘n stuff which would result me in being a more productive and efficient human being. But, although I admit I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing, I shall attempt to repair the pod using a screwdriver, a new earjack and a sprinkle of good fortune. I think I’ll also need a monocle (purely for image purposes, only) and a white jacket (Coldbrain, can I borrow yours if you still have one?)

I’m almost certain that I will break my ipod but at the same time I wish to undertake this technological procedure, just so I won’t feel so bad when I go onto Amazon and buy the new ipod touch, and because secretly I have a reason to act like Moss from the IT Crowd, if only for a few minutes...

105 miles

I got into the car and started the engine. Turning the corner I switched on the radio to hear this. I listened for a few moments and realised exposing my ears to anymore would result in me thinking about Neighbours all night. I drive through the residential area at 28 mph and the electronic box attached to the lamp post produces a smiley face. I press the tuner button and it tunes into this song.


I don’t mind it, it doesn’t repulse my ears to the point my ear drums turn inside out. Although, it’s not really me and so I sniff and press the tuner button again. There’s static for a few moments as I pull up to the traffic lights. My index finger pushes the button once more and finally it picks up one of those commercial radio stations currently playing an advert about wall tiles being on discount. I hate those adverts so turn down the volume and concentrate driving through the rain.

The boy racers are out tonight and they swarm me like lions circling a wounded antelope. It’s only a matter of time before one of them tries to cut me up or honks their horn so that I look at them only to be greeted by the middle finger. I remember that there’s a CD in the player that I had forgotten about so quickly turn back up the volume and press the button. It’s one of my mix CDs which makes me grin as I approach another set of lights. The racer to my left revs his engine in an act of machismo and an indication he wishes to rut with me like stags fighting for domination. The first song that plays on my CD is this and the tune reminds me of a few years back when I used to duel with my nemesis. The lights turn green and the boy racer speeds off as I remember to turn left and do so.

I think about my nemesis for a moment and grin to myself. The song changes to this one but nothing really pops into my head as I drive past a Tesco garage and glance at the petrol meter. Everything is good, just like Mr Jones.

The national speed limit sign means I can finally spread my wings and glide across the country road. There’s not a car in sight when this track starts to kick in. For some reason I begin to think about the 19th century when women wore corsets and the men wore those funny white wigs that judges wear. It’s a bit surreal but I reach the motorway and join on. INXS comes on as I stare ahead and notice that there are more silver cars than any other tonight. A couple of BMWs and Audis speed past me and I turn into the left hand lane to let a Ford Focus go past.

The CD begins skipping (it’s an old disc) disrupting Hutchence et al and finally deciding to settle down to this tune. I overtake something that resembles one of those cattle wagons and notice the sign for the services. My eyes briefly gaze at the petrol sign where quite a lot of juice has been drunk but I conclude that I’ll be alright. Another Chem Bros. track comes on and my ears perk up. I had forgotten they did this and now my index fingers are tapping the steering wheel and I’m shaking my head. I recall the video being one of my favourites because of the jelly fish and how they glowed with the beat. I thought that was really cool.

The travel news interrupts everything but I’m not in the mood so turn down the volume and carry on thinking about the glowing jelly fish. The silence also provides my mind to ask me a few random questions, like, ‘why haven’t I bothered to watch Season 3 of Heroes yet?’ or ‘If an early election is called will this mean it’s more likely that there will be a hung parliament?’ and of course, ‘I wonder how cold it is in Scotland right now?’ I purse my lips and decide that it’s just general information I’d collated through the day but feel obliged to answer them to myself. ‘You liked Heroes, more so than you liked Lost because more things happened. However, you got annoyed that Sylar didn’t die so haven’t been that bothered since. Hmm, I think there is more of a greater chance of their being a hung parliament if an election is called early. Yes, it must be bloody freezing in Scotland, right now.’

I notice my junction to turn off on isn’t too far now and decide to give the radio another chance. This time I find this song and settle with it. I haven’t heard it in a while and as it comes to an end I’ve turned off at J14 and am now slowing up to a roundabout. The light appears on the petrol meter so I decide to drive to the garage.

The next song on this radio station reminds me of something that gets played in Topman, over and over, again and again so I start pressing the tuner button. I see the garage and turn in whilst still trying to find something decent. The garage is surprisingly busy for around this time of the night. I find a bay that is free and quickly nip in. My hand begins to turn the ignition off when the tuner finds another radio station that begins playing this. My fingers let go of the key and I get myself comfortable again. I mean, this song is amazing and I haven’t heard it in years. I love it.

Someone beeps me from behind and I remember I should be getting petrol. Fuck it, it was worth staying in the car to listen to that song. I turn off the engine, fill up and drive home in silence.