Stumbling Along

I know I’m no longer on the cusp of the technological edge, so this news may somewhat be redundant to you. The fact my latest IT discovery has made me feel all warm and funny inside over the endless possibilities makes me obliged to tell you. I recently installed StumbleUpon (click here to get hooked up) on my laptop after a conversation with the IT bod from work. It was water cooler conversation again, where none of us know what to say really, so I fill up the time asking him questions while he spends it answering them. It’s a silent agreement we have and are both happy with. In this particular occasion I asked him if he knew of any websites that may share my interests and he told me about StumbleUpon.

You install it on your computer and when you run it it asks you a series of questions about your interests like, comedy, sport, writing, etc. You then tick all the boxes you are interested in and then open your browser. Then you’ll see a little sumbleupon icon button. Press that and you’re taken to a random website that’s about a particular interest you have chosen. It’s great, I’ve spent ages checking out sites I’d never find on a google search. I learnt about William Borrughs cut-up method of writing which has for many years perplexed me since buying Naked Lunch. It was one of those things that I meant to get to the bottom of but obviously there’s more pressing daily matters to attend. However, Stumbleupon brought me to a site that explained his technique so now that’s something I can tick off my list of things to do before I die. If you’ve got the odd half hour to kill I’d strongly recommended it.

In other news I discovered that Dyson LTD are expanding thier product range. I was in the shopping centre the other day and needed to use the public toilet. Once I’d finished I washed my hands and was drying them when I noticed this small device next to the conventional dryer with the Dyson logo on it. It read that it can dry hands within 5 seconds so I thought I’d dip my hands in between this device. Sure enough you put your hands in and slowly pull them out whilst a serious jolt of air comes flying out. It’s almost like drying your hands with the turbines of an aeroplane but without getting yourself entangled. I have to say I was impressed and went and told everyone about this new device claiming it is called the Dyson Dribble. Turns out it’s the Dyson Air Blade. I think the name I chose sounds better.


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His phone vibrates and he reaches into his pocket to get it out. He sips on his whisky as he looks at the message from Gregor. It reads, “Two hours, mine.” Charles throws his phone to the floor and swirls his drink around staring at the whisky sloshing around the glass. He’s not going to go this time. He told himself this earlier. Who is he going to betray his strength of mind or Gregor?

After an hour Charles gets up picks up his car keys and heads out to the car.

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Yannish left the police station un-tucking his shirt collar from his neck and straightening it out until he felt comfortable. He couldn’t believe his experience. They were so polite. It was almost surreal. They saw him standing on the forecourt, chaos circulating around as policemen tried to wrap tape around the area while armed police could be seen bobbing up and down around the area looking for any unusual movements that could possibly be a lead. And there stood Yannish, who had appeared from no where, his eyes transfixed on the garage. An officer walked up to him and before he spoke Yannish said.

“The guy you want is over there, he ran into the woods.” Lifting his hand to indicate where he’d just come from.

The officer looked at him sceptically and didn’t look too convinced.

“How do you this?”

“Because I chased him.”

The officer looked at Yannish’s ruffled look, his garage uniform looked dusty, he had random scratches all over his face and arms. His hair was stuck in the air and he was quivering.

“Well you’d better come with me.” And with that stepped behind Yannish and ushered him forward without touching him. It was the movement of going behind that started Yannish walking, walking all the way until they got to police car, he noticed the steel railings separating the back seat and the front.

“Aren’t you going to tell your colleagues where to go?” He asked feeling a bit perplexed about what seemed to be happening. He had only ever been stopped once by a police man when he was 14. He had found a porno magazine in the bushes by his local park. He quickly swiped it and scurried off home only to be stopped by his local constable. Yannish looking anxious and just plain shifty was asked to show him what his sticking out of his jacket. Reluctantly but acquiescing with the constable’s demand he passed over his soggy porno magazine.

“Yes, yes I’ll tell them but first we must get you to the station, now get in please.”

Yannish although slightly confused and starting to feel irate that nothing was being done opened the door and slid into the back seat. The officer spoke into his radio controller but he was inaudible and ended talking once he’d got into the car. They set off.

There was silence in the back seat nothing was being said at all. Yannish didn’t want to speak, the moments of what had happened were beginning to catch up with him. He started to think about what would have happened if he’d walked out with Karen when she came to visit him. This would have all been different.

“I’m bringing in a suspect from the Cavendish garage, robbery.” Said the policeman on his car radio.