Crossroads

Every once in a while I’m confronted with a decision to choose something over another. Akin to me standing in a Tescos Express for two minutes debating whether I want a Snickers or a Mars, I stared at the computer screen thinking should I take this opportunity or stick with what I know.

I hate these types of decisions, because everything has ramifications and as a result even not doing anything means I would be doing something. So whilst sipping some green tea I began writing down what could possibly happen if I took up this opportunity. It seemed that not much would change other than my financial situation and my stress levels, which potentially could be tolerable or would send me into some morbid state where all my hair drops off and my eyes grow bags bigger than an Asda bag for life (which is surprisingly large).

I still did not know what to do, so I sought advice from a few people. Each piece of advice was good but it was conflicting, one would say I should take the opportunity, whilst another felt it was best to let this ship sail, while another thought of combining the two. All three were clearly succinct and persuasive which meant I was stuck, because I felt no nearer as to whether I should do something about it or not.

And then I remembered, maybe I should just ask myself, and see how I feel about the opportunity inside. My initial reaction was that it didn’t feel right. Was it just nerves, and that’s why it didn’t feel right? This was plausible but that wasn’t the reason, there was just this feeling that it wasn’t correct for me, and that’s what I decided, to go with my instincts and stop playing about in my head about the ‘what ifs’ or the ‘why nots’ because it was eating away at me.

And so after two weeks, I let the opportunity float by and almost immediately I felt better and lighter. In fact it has made me more motivated for some reason, I don’t know entirely why but I’m not going to try and stifle it because I have been finding a lot of energy of late, rather than just relying in coffee to keep my energy levels up.

Yet, something tells me if I had heard this earlier, everything would have fallen into place sooner. 

And here’s also another episode of Alfalfa’s Premiership Show.

 

Things I've Been Meaning To Do

Sitting here exhausted after a day’s work and after playing football at lunch time, I feel guilty about the things that have been filed in the back of my mind. Mainly because I can’t do them tonight, I wasn’t able to do them last night, or last week, or even last month, some even stretch back as far back as six months ago.

So now my mind is beginning to get cluttered with the things I want to do but haven’t quite got around to doing, because of work, rest or play. My mind works by thinking of something I want to do, assessing whether it is something that can be done easily or not. If easily, I tend to do it that week. If not, I attach a time scale on it, usually it’s the end of the month, or if it’s big then a couple of months. What tends to happen however, is when I come to do something, I have a momentarily struggle with my mood, if I’m not feeling it, I just cannot get my head round to doing it. This may not be a very strong argument because people can say that no one wants to go to work but yet we still do. 

However, when I like doing something at work, I tend to flourish, like come in early, consider all the aspects of it and then sprinkle some Paddington’s  Shadow love dust so that it at least shows effort was made.

To help get these things off my chest and perhaps embarrass me into doing them after I read this post again in a couple of days, I’ll list them below.

1)     Reading, On Writing by Stephen King

I have been meaning to read this ever since Coldbrain mentioned it to me over a few Tuborgs way back in February of this year. Yet, after buying it on Amazon it’s still sitting on my bookshelf, leaning against my dictionary. So what’s stopping me reading it? Well, even though I walk past it every night, I just need to feel in the right mood to read it, to fully appreciate what has been written. I could just stare at the pages but I wouldn’t fully enjoy them.

2)     Going to  London

I have been meaning to go to London for months now, it’s not too far away and easily accessible as I live about 10 minutes away from the station and if I get the Pendalino I’ll be standing outside UpperCrust in Euston in about 35 minutes. I’ve got people I can see, places to visit, I haven’t been down to the national gallery in ages now, or gone down some pubs around Camden and bars in Leicester Square. So what’s stopping me? Although I want to go, although it’s easy to get there, I can’t be bothered to arrange the day off, look at the train times, arrange a time to meet and make sure I’m back before the last train. Still, this is a shame because I know, one visit to the Big Smoke and I’ll come back full of ideas and beans.

3)     Finish watching the West Wing
I love the West Wing, it’s fast becoming my favourite ever television series, although Twin Peaks is still ahead. It’s so finely polished, well up to season 3 anyway, and the characters are really good, I come away from each episode having learned something. But what’s stopping me picking up the DVD and putting it in the player? Again, it’s down to mood, although I want to watch more episodes, at this moment I’m thinking I wouldn’t really appreciate it. I’d probably get bored and frustrated.

4)     Buy a new shaver

My Gillette Mac 4 has done well over the last couple of years, but due to wear and tear it’s time to replace it. However, I keep forgetting to, and every other morning when I pick up the shaver I think to myself, I need to replace this, and then carry on. When I’m shopping I never remember and so the cycle continues. Why don’t I get a new one? Pure laziness is the answer. I should make a note to take next time I go shopping; in fact I’m going to do it now.

Although these are some of the things I’ve been meaning  to do but haven’t, I have managed to do one thing and that’s to combine my love of football and general chatting of utter nonsense, so I present to you, particularly Premiership football fans, Alfalfa’s Premiership Show.