Release

Finally I have completed my Spanish course. I had my final oral exam at 20:38 which lasted about fifteen minutes. Prior to that time I was nothing more than a gibbering nervous wreck due to reckless consumption of five cups of coffee during the day. The theory was that by drinking copious amounts of coffee I’d be as perky as Pamela Anderson’s assets. However, because I was anxious or perhaps excited about my oral exam I drunk more than my usual three cups. By four o’clock I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I’d stare at the computer screen writing out an email but as soon as I’d finished typing out the recipient’s name my conscious thought insisted that I should turn my attentions to revising a few Spanish verbs. So I turned my head and gave a deft glance at the list hidden beneath my writing pad. I’d got as far a revising the verb of ‘hablar’ when my mind informed me it was time to grab something to eat. I wasn’t even hungry and it wasn’t until I was in the canteen that I realised that being in a queue for a Mars Bar I didn’t want was nothing more than stupidity. Realising that my mind was finding it hard to concentrate it was time to consider drastic measures to ensure that I’d be able to speak coherently for the oral.

So arriving home I decided to nullify the caffeine by using a sedative this being, a glass of red wine. It went down a treat and I could feel the tension literally evaporate from my shoulders. It had such a good affect on me that I turned to a second glass and hit the books practicing my verbs, prepositions and pronunciations. It seemed to literally role of my tongue like I’d been speaking the language for years. The feeling of confidence oozed and I wanted more so poured another and knocked it back. After putting down the empty glass I suddenly felt languid, I’d overdone it. The verve had left me and all I wanted to do was lie down and watch Alan Partridge. The urge to attend this tutorial started to diminish with every thought of speaking a language I kind of understood to an expert who would nod, wince and perhaps even scowl as I got things wrong. However, I rallied. It was important to finish the course because it has haunted me since February, looming around my neck like a boil that won’t disappear. You can forget about it for a little while but every now and then you realise it is there. It felt almost like subtle harassment if such a term could exist. Even though it was for my benefit I just could not help that it was intruding on my life rather than contributing it. Yet, I still persisted, even though studying wasn’t daily or even weekly. It was important I took the final exam, so I made myself another coffee pouring in three teaspoons of sugar for an extra kick and made myself ready by standing outside for no apparent reason.

The exam itself was quite quick. I spoke, was asked some questions which I eventually answered after saying ‘errr’ quite a lot and also feeling my heart beating really fast only to slow down after a few seconds and then to speed up again. It all came to an end after twenty minutes and thought I should write this blog whilst I’m in this incoherent manner. So apologies but thought it would read kind of disjointed tomorrow when I’m off the caffeine/wine comedown.