Fix Up, Look Sharp

Mr Rascal instructs so I listen and follow. Even though it’s so 2005 I have discovered skinny ties. Ok, so I may look like a member out of Busted but it’s definitely left me feeling comfortable looking smart.

It all started with me having to go to an event which insisted on ties being worn. There was no chance of me getting away with the ol’ open shirt with a couple of buttons undone. A tie was a necessity. So off I trudged to town on a mission to find one. I tried the most obvious place first, the Tie Rack. It is kind of an awkward shop on the corner of a larger building, I wasn’t sure how to actually get in because there were stands everywhere. A kind lady spotted the novice and aptly starting producing ties all over the place. “This will suit you.” “That will definitely match your shirt”. It sounded all very nice that I knew I was being played. There was no way a purple tie would look good against a brown shirt, or so I thought. I smiled sweetly whilst carefully backing away from the shop only to hit the back of head on a stand full of scarves. The stand shook and a few dropped on the floor leaving me feeling obliged to pick them up. As I stood though there were more ties being shoved in my face ranging from polka-dot to stripy and it was all too much for me. I laid the scarves from the stand and then bolted.

The next few shops proved futile, leaving me walking past Next. For a moment I took a step towards its direction but remembered that anything I buy there at least 3,567 people will be wearing the same thing. I back tracked and headed to John Lewis. The ties were gorgeous, spun by the finest Vietnamese silk worms but because of that they were costing around £50 - £80. I was not prepared to part with that sort of cash just because I can say my tie was made out of worms. I headed along not sure where to go next when I thought I might as well check out H&M. It was there that I saw a skinny tie. Although I’d come across them many a time it never really appealed to me wearing something half the size it should be. Grabbing it off the hook I spun it around my neck and remembered that I was pretty lame at tying knots, instead I twisted and turned it under so it kind of looked like a knot. Doing this meant I could not move my neck otherwise it would unravel and float to the floor leaving me looking a fool. Eventually sliding to the mirror I realised immediately that it actually suited me. It was a strange feeling of relief that my quest had come to an end but also I was annoyed why I hadn’t realised before. I pulled the tie away from my neck and this time spun it around so that it rested just beneath my open shirt. I just grinned and walked off to pick up four other more before heading to the till.

So in short I’ve been wearing a lot of ties recently to work because I kind of like them. People ask if I’ve got an interview but I don’t care because it kind of makes me feel like an action hero when I’m late for things and run down the road with the tie flapping in the air like ribbon blowing in the wind.