We’re Jammin’

Last night I had my next entry all planned out to write upon my arrival, it kind of fell into my head. That was until I got caught in a traffic jam for four hours so I have decided to write about that instead.

I was on the X5 heading back from Oxford. Everything was running smoothly, in fact the driver was swerving rather erratically around the bends causing me to occasionally bump my head against the window. Still I carried on with my book with my ipod plugged in. I had it on shuffle.

We left the city in haste going around 70mph where ever we could. But then it became 50mph, then 30mph until gradually we were going 15 mph and finally we were at stand still. I didn’t think much of it at first and in fact was secretly quite pleased because the plot was thickening in my book – kind of like corn flour when making home made gravy.

By the time I had reached chapter seventeen, I realised we had crawled about ten metres in the last half an hour. My senses suddenly became aware of my surroundings, particularly the passengers. A girl on the right a few seats down was talking loudly to her friend on the phone. “Yeah it’s on my Facebook page.” She told her (apparent) friend. “I’ve done some modelling shoots and they want to put me in a magazine.” There was an instinctive urge to see so I shuffled to the edge and caught a glimpse of her face. Yeah she could be a model. Still she spoke loudly so was glad I was not sitting by her.

Another girl who was behind me began to sigh. First it was a gentle sigh, one that kind of signified a wilting patience. Then after a few minutes she sighed with some force and her breath tickled the bit of my head that poked out from behind the back seat. There were a couple in front of me, both lying against one another forming a pyramid shape in between the two seats. I was tempted to push one of their heads just so I could see the other topple. I didn’t bother and returned to my book. Jimi Hendrix was playing on my ipod.

My thoughts returned to the current situation when a police car came hurtling past with its siren blaring aloud. The girl behind me was now on the phone cancelling her night’s plans because of the traffic jam. She apologised and then proclaimed that she had already read 107 pages of her book. What! I thought. I was a fast reader but this girl is reading twice the speed I am. Wow, perhaps I’m not fast at reading at all. Ah well. I shake my head to break my thoughts and hear the model now talking about getting wasted. “Yeah we can go down the pub and get bladdered”. She was talking even louder now. I looked over and saw the guy in front of her trying to catch her attention by pouting his lips slightly. He must have been trying to impress her. It didn’t work. “Yeah then we can go clubbing.” I sighed and then turned the page. Jose Gonzalez had just started.

I kind of freaked when I next saw the driver standing outside. We had not moved in that long that he felt there was enough time to go outside for a cheeky cigarette. What made me feel uneasy was that he was puffing on his Marlboro behind an oil tanker. I contemplated tapping on the window but then just slumped within my jacket. We’d been here a couple of hours, an explosion would at least make things a bit more interesting. Hey, it might even make local news if it’s a big enough blast. The girl behind me was on the phone again. “Talk to me I’m bored…” I liked her style. My eyes began to wander along the coach staring at the aisle way and then noticing a guy sitting behind the model reading a book. I tried to catch the title but couldn’t see it. Craning my neck to give myself a better angle still proved fruitless. I gave up for the time being and opened up my book again. “Yeah I’ve read 200 pages. I’d be totally screwed with out it.” Shit. This girl had some serious reading ability, I was barely scratching a century of pages and she was rifling through her tome like it was the latest Harry Potter novel. I begin to wonder if there is a tournament or world record for how fast people can read. If there was I would enter the girl behind me.

Finally we began to move. At first it was gradual with some rather sharp jerks which made me rock forward and bang my knees on the seat in front of me. The male of the couple turned his head back and gave me the stink eye. I shrugged my shoulders. It was not as if I meant it so felt I didn’t have to apologise. A shrug was all he was getting. Eventually the bus driver turned 2nd gear into 3rd and then 4th until finally we was cruising again on the open road in 5th. I tried once again to see if I could catch the title of the book the man was reading. Once again I failed. Ah well, it was a mildly entertaining game while it lasted. The model had now stopped talking and was staring out of the window. The girl behind me was also quiet so I looked outside. Everything seemed peaceful because it was hard to see anything. All was asleep, retired for the night apart from the X5 which was hurtling down the road trying to make up lost time. My eyes become heavy and I closed them. My ipod was now playing St Etienne and I fell asleep.