Readjusting

It’s been a while since I last posted. It’s not that TalesofEpoch has been forgotten. In fact, I think about the ol’ blog on a daily basis as it is my creative outlet. Each day I wait for a new entry idea to fall into my head. Sometimes it happens when I’m making coffee in the kitchen at work, just before I push the lever down on the hydroboil machine and scald my hand causing the instant freeze coffee to fly from my mug. Other times I’ll be reading a book in peace, either at home, in a coffee shop or the library and then the idea will just appear. Not daily, but quite frequently.

These ideas have been popping into my head less and less of late though. It’s like I am scraping the barrel of concepts and getting the dried leftover pulp. I mean what on earth were my last two blog entries about? They were shit. I reread them this evening and they made me snigger but I was overwhelmingly cringing at the lack of substance. Now I think the reason for my last two lacklustre entries was because I’ve been working my cotton socks off. Since mid March my working life has taken over all other aspects of life and has become my life. I have been starting work around 8:15am and finishing around 6pm which churns out nothing more than a haggard looking man who spends a further five minutes trying to untangle his earphones to listen to some music before exiting the building. After I finish work all I want to do is sleep and nothing more. Well apart from eating first. I’ve been trying the last couple of weeks to write something but both pieces resembled my last two entries and were duly deleted. Currently, work has regulated my life because all my energies are focussed there, it is begrudgingly because I want energy for myself to at the very least make breakfast in the morning and hold a decent conversation. Instead I’ve started saying uh-huh as a response to everything which when asked, is that report done yet, is perfectly appropriate but when asked, Please, I need your help, I think I’m going to have a breakdown isn’t really the response the recipient was hoping for.

I did have a couple of days off during the Bank Holiday and I remembered what it was like to be me which was great, especially when the red eye disappeared and I didn’t have to open Outlook. The time off also made me realise that I’ve got to readjust myself. Work life is always going only get harder and I’ve got to develop the skill to either get away with doing nothing, which I can’t do if I wanted because I actually strive for self actualisation (check me out getting some of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in here). Or I develop the skill to cast work aside at a certain point and not let it flood my life. At the moment, I’m rubbish at this but at least I’ve realised that’s what I should do if I don’t want to turn into a complete bod.

And should I fail, I’m afraid I’ll write about more crap like how difficult I find it to cut my toe nails, or how I’ve got earring shrapnel in the top rim of my left ear which is now part of me as the skin has grown over it.

In other news, I got a juicer. No it wasn’t because I saw a Jason Vale advert. Two people completely unrelated to each other and on separate occasions advocated the benefits of buying a juicer so completely blindly taking their advice I went and got one. Now I can drink carrot, beetroot and radish all in one drink. How lovely.