Monday 26 February 2007

Morning woes


I got up the other day rather sluggishly. I fell asleep around 2:30 in the morning and regained consciousness a few hours after with the alarm going off on my mobile phone. I flopped over to the end of my bed and reached out my arm to the floor using my hand as one of those grapplers you get at the arcades, where you never win the teddy. I managed to get hold of it and opened my eyes to locate the snooze button. To my disgust the screen had turned itself off and all I could see was a black panel, the alarm though, was still ringing. I proceeded to tap the screen ever so slightly for any sign of response. Nothing! My alarm, sensing my stirring anxiety decided to crank it up a few decibels which in turn caused me to throw the thing against the wall, where I heard a smash, a crack, followed by silence. I succeeded.

I ambled along in auto pilot, ironing my trousers, t-shirt and my index finger. I couldn’t even be bothered to look at it, I just mumbled an expletive and thought it felt rather hot. Breakfast usually consists of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes but not today, they had run out the previous morning and I’d forgotten to get some more. Instead I had to crunch some bran flakes which I bought when I was going through a fitness phase. They reminded me of the cardboard ninja stars I used to make as a boy but always ended up chewing for some reason.

I caught the bus to work, where I proceeded to plug in my ear phones and turn on my personal DAB radio searching for 1Xtra. After 20 seconds I realised nothing was playing. I looked at my DAB, “Station unavailable”. I tuned to 6Music. Nothing. I couldn’t tune in anything, Radio 2, Virgin, Radio 4 even Radio 1! The only thing that came up was Core which was playing some rhubarb pulp. I cut my losses and turned off the DAB whilst uttering a few cusses which brought a raised eye brow from the lady sitting opposite me. I however was more entranced with the facial hairs protruding from the side of her face. They were thick, dark brown and twirly, like bristles on the brush I use to polish my shoes. I wondered if she groomed them.

Once alighted from the bus I strolled along to work and came across a wooden bridge, as I came to the brow of the bridge I noticed a pretty long haired brunette with a long black coat coming across the opposite direction. She was going to pass me. We caught eye contact and so I decided to smile at her, she gave me a smile back and a tiny wave. It was then, I realised that today wasn’t going to be a bad day after all. It’s funny, no, in fact compelling the influence women have over men’s lives.

2 comments:

asdf said...

It's such a turnaround, isn't it. I had a rubbish day today but got chatting to some girl on the bus on the way home, and left with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

Unfortunately the song was "Girls Ain't Nothin' But Trouble" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince. Sometimes I think iPods are sentient beings.

Paddington's Shadow said...

You're right on both accounts. Females do put smiles on men's faces and iPods are the vessel in which Steve Jobs uses to control soundtracks to people's lives.