Link (No, not the hero from Zelda)

There’s a guy at my work who has the best seat in the house if you want to be the ultimate slacker. Out of the 150+ people that work on his open plan floor he has managed to stumble across a desk that is right at the back so only the wall can see what he gets up to on his ‘puter. He informs me that he does do work even though I never mention work only just how good it must feel seeing who is approaching you and not jumping up like an idiot in fright when someone approaches you from behind. But it’s also got some other good advantages like whenever I want to buy something online (we are allowed to on our breaks which are 10:45 or 1pm). However, as it’s an open plan office I can’t help but feel that as soon as I whip my card out the Director will come strolling past seeing me online buying something, and all I can say is that ‘I’m on my break”. So I have to inconspicuously negotiate my wallet from my back pocket which consists of shimmying from side to side and contorting my body so that it looks like I’m grinding the back of the chair. Once I’ve got my wallet out I then carefully slide out the ol’ debit card and nestle it in my palm so I can lay my hand on the table and turn it over occasionally to write out the details with no one noticing. My colleague, well he just slaps his card on the table and bashes it all out all in one go.

One day I decided to pay him a visit so I made my way upstairs and endured the 3 minute walk from one end of the office to the other. He wasn’t there so I waited by his desk and saw he had his screen saver on. I waited 30 seconds and there was no sign of him. I waited another 30 seconds and there was still no sign of him. So I decided to sit in his seat and by habit I shook the mouse which to my surprise evaporated his screen saver to show me what was on his screen. On there was a still image of a clip from the IT Crowd, in fact on closer inspection it wasn’t a still it was a video paused (cheeky git). I looked confused and felt perplexed. At that moment my colleague came back saw that what I had seen and proceeded to tell me about this website he found that has loads of different TV shows and movies on. Some of them work but some don’t and some are rubbish quality. He passed me the link for me to investigate.

It’s a pretty good site full of films and TV goodies, it’s not really appropriate for the working office environment as the boss will bust your hind but if you’re bored at home it could come in handy so I think I’ll pass it on for other people to check out at their leisure.

http://www15.alluc.org/alluc/


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Marla and Semmi took two huge sips from their glasses and began chatting about television. Charles, deciding not to continue playing games with Peter looked at Semmi with her green army jacket that had the Germany flagged coloured in black. He couldn’t help but think that it was a deliberate choice of colour on her behalf, an effort of irony. Something Semmi would definitely do and leave for others to work out. She was very odd opposite Marla. Marla, enjoyed the good life, the more luxurious the more content she would be. Being pampered and waited on would be her ideal scenario in life, where as Semmi wasn’t interested at all in that part of life. She was concerned about rights and welfare of living things whether human or animal. She would talk about animals that Marla hadn’t even heard of or human torturing happening in countries that he didn’t even know about. He didn’t like her because he felt she was too self righteous but looking at the little Germany flag on her left shoulder made him think that there was so much substance in the personality of Semmi.

A shining in the corner of Charles’s eye catches his attention from his gaze and turns and raises his forearm just in time to let the glass smash against it and not his face. He peers from his forearm to see Peter pull away and quickly push the table forward. But before it rams into Charles’s stomach he manages to grab it and hold it firm. He brings down his forearm and remembers the thought he had about hitting Peter and the satisfaction he was about to feel as he brought it to reality. Grabbing a clump of his hair he flings Peter head first on to the table making a dull thudding noise as he crashes down. Next he starts punching him round the back of the head, first with his fist, over and over again until he can see blood. But his cranium refuses to cave in. Charles looks for something to grab onto and clutches his pint glass. Peter is squealing for mercy and starts crying loudly. The Indian waiter carrying their meals on a tray sees what’s happening and starts to shimmy again from one side to the next, not sure what to do but shimmy in excitement. Marla, who quickly snaps out of the initial shock sees Charles lunch for the pint glass and grabs his arm.

“No Charles, don’t do it.” Screams Marla.

Peter feels the pressure she’s applying on his arm attempting to stop it going down. Even though it’s futile she is still trying. He starts to feel remorseful of his actions.

“You’ve already fucking ruined this night I don’t want you going to prison, I need to get things, I want the kitchen redone and you can’t pay for that in prison. Now stop!”

Peter realises her attempt, her pressure to stop his arm wasn’t out of his concern but for hers. He shakes her arm away sees Peter shaking his arms in the air, flapping around like an injured bird attempting to fly as the fox approaches. As he starts to bring his arm down he sees Semmi’s pleading face, her genuine look of sorrow. The blacked out Germany badge. He slams the glass on the table centimetre’s from Peter’s eye’s who gasps in shock at not being glassed. Marla flings herself at Charles entrenching her nails on to his face.

“How could you do this? How could you show me up? You’ve attacked an innocent man for no reason.”