Touch My Toucus

There are sometimes when things happen that there’s not enough time to judge what has just occurred to react accordingly to it. However, you can make time if as soon as the event has happened you try and relate it to a past experience. I was standing in the line at a cafeteria waiting to pay for my yogurt not caring much for the people behind me or the person in front of me. I was slightly tired having decided to watch ‘five minutes’ worth of Rambo II on ITV the previous night only to stay up till 1am to watch the complete film. My head was rolling with ideas like, ‘should I get a John Rambo hairstyle with accompanying red headband?’ whilst waiting for the man in front of me to pay for his food when suddenly he turned rather quickly, his arm flinging across, crashing through my personal space and landing gently against my balls. I quickly bolted straight my mind thinking, ‘what on earth just happened here?’ I thought again, ‘was there intentionally cupping?’ I couldn’t remember as it all happened so fast. I turned to face the man in front of me who started to apologise for what happened. I guess he made enough contact to realise what he brushed. I didn’t acknowledge him at first. He was apologising at an alarming rate, ‘sorry, sorry, sorry I..I..didn’t mean to do that.’ Hmm, sounds like he’s done this before, he says ‘sorry’ three times before switching to ‘I’ twice. I then remembered a moment that happened to me at work one time when I was carrying a large box of paper in front of me. It was so large that it obscured my vision so I relied on my other senses. Unfortunately they are as finely tuned as a Ford Cortina after its 25 year service. After a few paces I felt the tips of my fingers and then my knuckles feel something very soft, bouncy and pleasant. They were breasts. After deducing what they were the dread of being hauled up in front of a tribunal for sexual harassment soon sunk in. Realising that I’d better deal with this situation quickly I popped my head around the box, hoping to see one of my female friends that would just laugh it off. Instead it was an extremely pretty girl that only made things worse, I didn’t know who she was but started apologising straightaway, explaining I didn’t mean it and I couldn’t see past the box and that I wouldn’t do that sort of thing. I almost did it again as I re-enacted the event and just how possible it was for such a thing to happen. Luckily she broke out a massive smile and said it was alright and no harm was done. A massive relief went through me. Turns out she was a temp and a really cool girl. We became friends before she left to become a secretary at some warehouse.

As I was about to ask the guy if he enjoyed it I realised that maybe he did do it by accident like I had done when carrying the box so instead told him it was alright and to enjoy his spaghetti meatballs!

Shock horror. No progressive prose this entry. I’m sort of giving myself some time to reflect on what the hell to do with the characters I’ve created!