The Drugs That Keep Me Going

What better way to start an entry than with a title like the one above. Alas, it’s not going to be a divulgence of ho w I gripped-up a drug dealer outside the local shops and slugged back his packet of ecstasy because I needed a pick-me-up before a presentation.

No, I’m more concerned about the legal drugs that keep my motor humming or stuttering along so I can do the things I can (live, read and muse). Until 2010 I’d probably consumed about a packet worth of paracetamol, yes a pathetic amount, I know, but I just didn’t like them and thought they wouldn’t work. It was as if I considered my body some kind of pure temple and that no manufactured product created could stop the throbbing sensation behind my eyes – but somehow tea that looked like pond water would. After a couple of headaches and a few litres of green tea I decided to ask someone if they had any paracetmol. The headache stopped and now I’m loving them. This doesn’t mean I take one with my cornflakes but as soon as I get a twinge in the cranium I reach for the little white pill(s).

A new drug I got the other day was hayfever relief spray, this was what the doctor suggested when I told him how I’ve got trouble breathing through my nose. It’s a really odd feeling but sometimes I can hear myself breathing which freaks me out because I’m making the kind of sound an unprepared marathon runner coming to the end of the finishing line, would make. So he pulled out his torch type thing and looked up my nose announcing that I have very thin nasal passages and that’s probably the reason why I struggle to breathe through them. The solution to my problem is hayfever nasal spray that contains a steroid that will open up these thin nasal passages to optimise the small space they have. So every morning before work I squirt this thing up my nose (twice) and roll my head around trying to stop the liquid from trickling down the back of my throat. I’m also worried that as it contains a steroid my nasal hairs will mutate and grow into something that will look like cat’s whiskers protruding out of my nostrils. I guess only time will tell.

I’ve also got some benzyl peroxide for my face which I think basically burns things and can ‘bleach clothing’ so I’m sure it will do wonders for me. I’ve got to apply it at night time and the first time I did so it stung really bad, like when pouring alcohol on a cut. I’ve also got to store it in the fridge because otherwise it goes off so it’s really cold when I get it out.

Oh, and I can’t forget the multi-vitamins I take every day but I don’t think they could be classed as drugs, or can they? Either way, all these things weren’t available 100 years ago so rather being the picture of health I am today, I’d be a spotty, malnourished young man that whistled every time he breathed and suffered from random headaches. Man, I sound like Urkel!